"Excuse me if I get a little Giddy or maybe even strange"---- It's Father's Day

"Tomorrow is Father’s Day! I am so very happy because this Father’s Day is so much different than any I’ve experienced in the past for this in fact is my first Father’s Day as a real life dad. Yes, as a Pastor, I’ve always received messages, cards, and even gifts on Father’s Day simply because of the calling over my life, but this one is totally different since we are actual parents…Look where God has brought us from. So if I’m a little giddy, can’t stop smiling, or overwhelmingly emotional tomorrow, please let me have that time, because guess what…..my baby’s having a baby, and I’m a daddy!!!! ‪#‎BraylensDaddy‬"--- Facebook Status of Jarrett Washington

I read his status on last evening and my heart melted.  I recall Father's Day 2012 as if it were yesterday. My father was delivering the Father's Day message at the first church we were assigned to. As my husband got up to introduce him, he thanked my father for being an amazing father in love and a few other sentimental words. He then said words that I've never forgotten. He said, "I'm wishing the Ole Man and all the other father's an amazing Father's Day. I may not be one this Father's Day but next Father's Day I will be a father!"  That was four years ago. During our fertility journey my husband never gave up on remembering God's promise to him. 

For years I've seen him wear homemade Dr. Suess hats reading to kindergarten students, cheering at football games, helping with essays, teaching boys how to tie a tie and even allowing our godson to have our home as a haven with no rules... sliding down banisters and even saying yes to him when his parents said no. Last summer I witnessed him cry at the airport when he saw one of the youth from our church off to California not knowing when she would return. I've witnessed him stand with a little boy at Easter who forgot part of his speech to give him support. I've seen him hold my hands and felt him dry my tears as we waited for God to expand our family and I saw how he fell apart on April 17 and again on September 25 when we received the news that our fertility treatments didn't work. That was then..... This is now. If you TRULY knew our story you would understand our celebration and praise. 

A few weeks ago at one of our baby showers everyone witnessed the joy that he felt of being a dad when he promised to only open one of the many gifts we received because there was an abundance of gifts and blessings. Instead of opening one gift......let's just say my husband enjoyed himself and rightfully so. He opened every gift that was presented. 

I have a few tricks up my sleeves today as I celebrate my husband on his first of many Father's Day. As I turn 36 weeks today, time is winding down and he will have lots of work to put in.... lol! I'm so grateful that God has blessed my husband and I to truly celebrate our own Father's Day. He deserves it! He was faithful over the few things and God is blessing him with his own. This was no easy journey and the road was far from smooth and easy but look how God has moved. My husband is going to be a daddy............ He is a daddy. He's our furbaby Jaxson's human daddy and Braylen's daddy. If you see my husband is giddy today, please praise and celebrate with him!

Happy Father's Day Jarrett Britton Washington!

Scripture: Psalm 127: 3-5 "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court"

THOSE WHO INTERCEDE FOR OTHERS, SHOULD MAKE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS INTERCEDING FOR THEM.

I am honored to have my husband contribute to today's blog. The feelings from infertility, fertility issues, or difficulty expanding your family is not isolated to just the female. I remember after our initial appointment, I prayed to God, "If there is an issue, please let it be with me because I can handle this and I can go through all of the procedures to "fix" what is wrong."  I was relieved when all of his tests came back and he was not the source of our fertility issues. Now I needed him to be strong for me and help me work pass the "diagnosis" from doctors as well as to pray like never before. I didn't realize that my husband was also secretly going through and having just as many low moments as I was. 

How do you console a crying wife when you both are dealing with the same issue? We are both ever grateful for those who were intercessors and praying for us during this time. 

THOSE WHO INTERCEDE FOR OTHERS,  SHOULD MAKE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS  INTERCEDING FOR THEM. Aaron and Hur held his hands up-one on one side, one on the other. Exodus 17:12 Thank you.  Those two words have such a greater meaning in my life these days.  Honestly, if I had fainted, I would never believe that God could be so extraordinarily good to my wife and me.  Yes we pray; yes we believe; yet and still, we always felt so unworthy.  For some time my wife, Deronda, has been blogging about our experiences with conceiving a child of our own on her site, TheOtherSideoftheBlessing.  Each week, she shares a little bit more about our journey and how God blessed us despite our fertility doctors giving us a 5% chance at conception.  Even after three failed fertility treatments, we still trusted God.  Today, we are a little over 26 weeks (Praise the Lord) and we are excited to meet our daughter, Braylen Jael.  But it's been a journey.             In my season of thanks, I am so very thankful for the relationships we have that have been strengthened by this journey God has designed for our lives.  So many have sown seeds of thankfulness, prayer, and strength as we went through that which we have endured.  I recall, two friends in particular, who acted as living testimonies of God's promises.  I so vividly remember one evening Deronda and I, along with our friends, had a date night where we went to the movies to see "War Room" and have dinner.  While in the center of the restaurant the topic of child birth came up.  Our friends reminded us to continue to speak the name of our child in the atmosphere.  They agreed with us in prayer that God will perform in this situation.  As we spoke, the tears welled in my eyes because I knew that this last procedure had failed.  As we talked, my heart ached and I felt so overwhelmed by the circumstances surrounding our conception, or lack thereof.  I felt lifeless, as if I was a failure, my soul had literally collapsed to the ground.  The irony of it all is in my collapsing, I had this strong sense that these two friends of ours were holding me up.  They were literally not allowing me to hit the floor.             As I fell into their arms (in a spiritual sense) I was quickly reminded that those who intercede for others, better make sure there is someone interceding for them.  Intercession is spiritual warfare.  It is not for the faint or the feeble.  In Exodus 17, the reader is exposed to a detailed description of the battle between the Israelites and the Amalekites.  According to the text, as long as Moses was lifting up his arms, the Israelites were winning the battle.  But every time Moses' arms grew tired and were lowered, the Israelites would begin to fail.  Aaron and Hur saw what was occurring and immediately when alongside Moses and lifted his arms until the battle was won.             Today, I simply want to thank God that our friends were there to lift up our arms.  If they had allowed us to fail, we would not be celebrating the very gift of God growing in the womb of my wife.  It's an absolute wonder what the Lord can do!  I challenge you today, to discover the intercessors in your life.  Who are the people that will hold you up and hold you together until the battle is won.  I promise you, no matter how strong you are, there are things in this life that you are not designed to go through alone.  Be encouraged, someone is praying for you even right now.

For Your Glory

The suffering of this present time isn't worthy to be compared to the glory that will be revealed in us. 
Romans 8:18


Singer/Songwriter, Christal Brown Heyward wrote a song years ago entitled, "For Your Glory." Almost 5 years ago on 11/11/11 at her Tonight We Worship album release, I was able to hear her sing live, "For Your Glory."  I didn't realize how the song would minister to me and so many others back then as it does even more today.  The lyrics simply states:

"I've been through so much, but Lord it was for your glory. I've taken so much, but Lord, it was for your glory. In spite of all I'm Going through, and in spite of what the devil tried to do. Lord it's for your glory! It was for your Glory!! Everything I've gone through it was for the Lord's Glory!"

With every text message, Facebook Message, phone call, or email received about our journey of faith to fertility, I understand better now that it was all for God's glory. The tears we cried were for His glory. The failed fertility treatments were about us understanding how we can minister to and help those who are on their journey to fertility because we too have been on the road they are on. Though many people have surmised that we were blessed when we simply decided to wait on God and stop all fertility treatments, I tend to believe that it was because He was building our testimony that took 3 years to truly unfold. Many have also said "what the devil meant for evil God turned it around." I personally believe that it had nothing to do with the devil because God, all by his magnificent self, qualified us to be His mouthpiece to encourage others. It was all for His glory.

I'm honored each day that I have the strength and ability to share our testimony with others. I'm more honored that He used me as His vessel to spread the word of  our difficulty expanding our family. The irony of this all is I didn't always feel this way. In fact, I remember when I was going through the journey, all I wanted was an immediate result and my prayers answered by God. I could care less about being someone's witness through their difficulty. How can I effectively witness to anyone when in fact my close family and friends had no real idea of what we were really going through?  How could God use me when I've cried more than I smiled?  When I am told things like, "I'm so glad you are telling your story because I never would've had enough courage to do so" or "You are truly brave for for being so transparent" I beam with pride because again......... God chose me knowing I would not only tell our testimony but proclaim He was the one that gets the glory.

I didn't understand then that God was really building my testimony and my strength to deal with what I would face in order that I may tell our story. Everything that happened was for His glory and I am so excited that He chose me.



Scripture Reference: The suffering of this present time isn't worthy to be compared to the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18



Song Reference:  "For Your Glory" by Christal Brown Heyward
Click Picture below to listen.


Contact:
Christal Brown Heyward
gibsongmusic@aol.com
843.452.6867

Jesus Did It!!!!

It was the second week in November. I had just gotten through FaceTiming my nephew and singing Happy Birthday to him and allowing him to show me all of his Clemson Tiger gear that his parents bought for his 4th Birthday. It was Empire night and I was relaxing with my feet up having a glass of wine and missing my husband. He left earlier that day for our District Convocation in Florence, SC.

During commercial break I received a text from a friend who was a Fertility Massage Therapist. She wanted to know if I was ready to start getting massages. I was ready but I reminded her that she wanted me to wait until my menstrual cycle arrived before I scheduled it. She asked me when it was supposed to arrive and I checked my menstrual app and it said it was suppose to arrive October 17. It was November 11. I shrugged my shoulders and told her that I was feeling weird so I'm sure my cycle would start any day. She texted back, "Take a pregnancy Test." I looked at the phone and I was certain she texted the wrong person. I told her that I couldn't go down that road again and I would instead wait. This answer must not have been good enough for her because she texted me again to say, "Take a pregnancy test!"

I decided that taking a pregnancy test wasn't a top priority on my list, especially when I needed to be packing to join my husband at convocation, shampooing my tresses, and preparing for work the next day all the while trying to watch Empire.  So I did what was important. Besides, I had taken over 50 pregnancy tests in the last 3 years and they all said NOT PREGNANT or showed one lonely line on the test strip.

I waited while I was conditioning my hair to humor myself and take a pregnancy test. I walked away and started packing and getting things ready for my departure. As I was blow drying my hair I looked down and noticed two lines on the test. I did a double take thinking I had taken an ovulation predictor test instead of a pregnancy test. I pulled out five more tests to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. Positive, Positive, Positive, Positive, Positive!  Okay this couldn't be right. I immediately called my friend Aubrey in the fertility support group to confirm that I was pregnant and to see if I needed to take a ClearBlue Easy Test (weird I know). Aubrey started screaming in the background and so did her husband Josh. I was laughing hysterically because of my nerves and also because I couldn't believe it. All of the "plans" I ever had of finding out I was pregnant and telling my husband we were pregnant went out of the window. I was so nervous and unsure of next steps that I just started crying and saying, "I'm pregnant! I'm really pregnant!"  Sweet Aubrey kept saying how happy she was and her husband in the background was telling me I needed to tell my husband right away just not via text.

Still in disbelief, I drove to CVS pharmacy and got a Clear Blue Easy test that revealed I was pregnant. I then I had to figure out how to tell my husband. I didn't have much time to think because he called. He was talking about my trip the next day and he was giving me advice to stay in Charleston versus taking the two hour ride on the road by myself. He talked about us having two cars at convocation and blah blah blah.. I remember saying, "No babes, it's okay. I'm still coming after work tomorrow."  He kept disagreeing and said that I needed to listen to him for once. I snapped back! "No! I need you to listen to me! I've been having a really great evening and you are really ruining this moment for me. I'm coming to Florence tomorrow because I have something important to tell you face to face! Jarrett, I'm pregnant!!!!!"  You could have heard a rat pee on cotton! Dead silence. He asked if I was sure and I assured him I was because I took nearly 10 tests before I called him. He was so happy! He changed his tone of voice. Told me to rest so I could see him the next day and to be careful on the road!!

As I went to bed that night I played an interlude by Gospel Singer Tasha Cobb recorded, Jesus Did It! When we first heard the song months before, we declared that this song would be our testimony.  In the song she prophetically spoke about how we were receiving  Denial, after denial, after denial and No, after No, after No! And that God was about to give us a Yes! She said Denial three times and No three times. I thought about November 17, 2014 when we got a No! I thought about April 17, 2015 when we got a No! I thought about September 25, 2015 when we got our NO and here it is on November 11, 2015 God gave us a YES!!! I couldn't wait to talk to my wonderful ObGyn to share my testimony and to email the other Reproductive Endocrinologists and tell them, "Jesus Did it!"

After doing a little calculations, I was already 6-8 weeks pregnant!  hmmmmm... It was definitely a Vacation Baby! God answered our prayers while on vacation SUDDENLY!!!!!

If you have been reading these posts in this blog, our testimony has been and continues to be, "JESUS DID IT!"


Song: Jesus Did It by Tasha Cobb

For where two or three gather in my name

I must say I have an amazing village who have been supportive during this time. Not everyone was or will ever be privy to every part of this journey but it was important for me to have individuals who could relate to me as well as pour into me that which I thought was lost.

My fertility journey sisters from Seacoast and my For the Love of Mom Genes founder Aubrey Atkinson were amazing. I first encountered this group of amazing women at my first meeting at Starbucks. (Whew… I honestly thought we would meet in room with no windows sitting in a large circle and I would have to introduce myself as, ‘Hi, my name is Deronda and a doctor has said I will only have a 5% chance of conceiving on my own.’ And the response would be, ‘Hi Deronda!”  This meeting was none of the sort! It was a group of women who welcomed me with open arms, smiles and “loved me Big.” When I told them my story, they listened. They nodded. They felt my heart. Then I heard two words that I had not heard in all of the 2 ½ years I had been facing this issue, “ME TOO!” Finally a group of women from different walks of life, different races, different occupations… but we were all the same. We wanted children more than anything and we had the Faith knowing that God can do it.  I’m forever grateful to these ladies. I have gained so much strength from these ladies. They taught me to be vocal and to find my strength and to help realize I had no reason to be ashamed of my journey.  During the course of our meetings we discussed our feelings, where we were with fertility treatments, successes, losses, husbands, labs, appointments, etc. These ladies were there to support in happy times with pregnancy announcements and they were there to give hugs, calls and flowers during our most difficult times. (SORRY THAT’S ALL YOU CAN KNOW.. WHAT HAPPENS IN THE GROUP STAYS IN THE GROUP)

A few ladies from the Fertility Support Group enjoying lunch XOXO

Connect with For the love of Mom Genes

Facebook: For the Love of Mom Genes

Instagram: For the Love of Mom Genes on Instagram

My SeatMate

Along this journey I also have a sweet friend who encourages me through the process and she is my “seatmate” because she was with me through the journey. My prayer warrior and confidante that never missed a beat and even promised me that one day I would see what a ‘miracle looks like.’ Sometimes it’s hard encouraging others when you are going through but it was so easy to do this with someone who was pouring the Word back into you. I often times wish my journey with my ‘seatmate’ was a first class smooth ride where we experienced no turbulence or rough patches. It was filled with many tears and heartaches. I remember discussing our journey over ice cream and then walking around in Babies R Us saying one day we would be walking around starting our registry. Forever Grateful! Our journeys are now on a different course. Though our journey is not allowing us to sit next to each other on the same first class flight, we are now passengers on different planes flying in the same direction towards God’s promises.

Prayer Warriors

There have been so many women that God has placed in my life that know how to send up a prayer and see results. These weren't just any prayer warriors these were prayer warriors who were on "The Other Side of the Blessing!" These were they who prayed because they had been there and done that and know first hand the pain I felt. They didn't allow me to have a pity party but they prayed for me and made sure I was still praying and not allowing the Devil to have victory. They reassured me at my lowest point that God can and WILL answer prayers. 

I remember calling one of them on my way to work feeling low and she began praying immediately. She prayed the prayers that were on my heart but I thought God could no longer hear. She boldly told me to fix any areas of my life that were spiritually weak whether it be my prayer life, my marriage, friendships etc. that would block any blessing God was ready to bestow upon me.

There was another warrior who asked me to find someone in the Bible who was feeling like I was and to read how they were delivered and set free. She prayed but also reminded me 'this too shall pass.'

My special prayer warrior at work was also amazing. She has walked and prayed beside me since the day I got the first failed treatment result. She never judged me but she knew that day something wasn't right. I never knew her story until I told her mine and I gained so much strength from pint sized woman of God who had an experienced a miscarriage and 2 high risk pregnancies. What's so amazing is that she still was able to check on me during the hustle and bustle of her day and reminded me DAILY that she was praying for me. 

As I reflect on my relationships with these women it reminds of a scripture found in 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it."

Reading that Scripture reminds me that I am not alone. That which I am experiencing, someone has already faced and God didn't let them down and He won't let me now.

Because of them I am.... In every conversation, prayer, or meeting He was there as well!

Scripture: Matthew 18:20

Resources: 

Purpose Conceived Will you Deliver?

For the Love of Mom Genes

Valencya the Visionary: (link coming soon)