"Specialing" My Doctor

I'm blessed with the most amazing OBGYN ever. It's not because we are both members of the same sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. nor is it because we have mutual ties in the Charleston community. Dr. Kenosha Gleaton became my doctor in 2012 shortly after my primary care physician, Dr. Betty Obong passed away. It was almost as if God led me directly to her. I was in need of a new doctor and my friend gave a glowing reference for her and that's all I needed to hear.

Dr. Gleaton has been a major part of our Faith to Fertility journey. She always encouraged me reminding me that we were citizens of a different kingdom. As a doctor she had to give me all of the medical information I needed, however she would often tell me that spiritually God could  and would do supernatural things. She encouraged me to read the book, "You Shall Not Be Barren" and to declare that my husband and I would one day be parents. There is just something about having a doctor who believes in Christ and His promises. It's even more awesome knowing your doctor prays with and for you. This definitely was a great start to our "Christ-Centered Covenant" pregnancy. 

When we found out we were pregnant, Dr. Gleaton was over the moon with excitement. I believe she was elated because God had truly answered her prayers for Jarrett and me. The first appointment with Dr. Gleaton was amazing. The staff was awesome. It was everything I wanted and more. With every appointment brought tears of joy, excitement and just an overall sense of being grateful. Dr. Gleaton was always smiling and cheerful and just an all around earth angel. 

After speaking with friends who have had babies, they explained to me that during delivery unless your doctor is working or on call you may have another physician delivery your baby. I honestly didn't know how I felt about this. Is there a chance "Dr. G" wouldn't be there for one of my most important days ever?  I mentioned it to her nurse and she reassured me that Dr. Gleaton wouldn't miss out on this event. She said she may even come too. lol. She explained how doctors "special" their patients and no matter what happens they will be there.  In my research on the internet, I read on a mommy board how patients give their doctors gifts in advance if the baby is due during the Holidays to ensure they will be there for delivery as well as to say thank you.

I had the genius idea that I should SPECIAL my doctor and ensure she's there for Baby Braylen's delivery. I purchased her a SuperWoman shirt and thanked her for being so SPECIAL, SWEET, SUPERB, SPIRITUAL and SCHOLASTIC when it came to my health care. She was so shocked when she opened her gift. She immediately told me that her son had a matching onesie and she would be sure to take a picture of the two of them in their matching Superhero shirts.  She also reassured me that she would be there for the delivery, God's will. 

I'm forever grateful for Dr. Gleaton for being such an amazing doctor and a sweet friend. I am so excited to have Dr. Gleaton in our life as well as knowing that our baby is in good hands as she comes into this world. 

Dr. Gleaton pictured with her son.

Resources:

Dr. Kenosha Gleaton

Address: 2145 Henry Tecklenburg Dr #270, Charleston, SC 29414
Phone:(843) 789-1800

THOSE WHO INTERCEDE FOR OTHERS, SHOULD MAKE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS INTERCEDING FOR THEM.

I am honored to have my husband contribute to today's blog. The feelings from infertility, fertility issues, or difficulty expanding your family is not isolated to just the female. I remember after our initial appointment, I prayed to God, "If there is an issue, please let it be with me because I can handle this and I can go through all of the procedures to "fix" what is wrong."  I was relieved when all of his tests came back and he was not the source of our fertility issues. Now I needed him to be strong for me and help me work pass the "diagnosis" from doctors as well as to pray like never before. I didn't realize that my husband was also secretly going through and having just as many low moments as I was. 

How do you console a crying wife when you both are dealing with the same issue? We are both ever grateful for those who were intercessors and praying for us during this time. 

THOSE WHO INTERCEDE FOR OTHERS,  SHOULD MAKE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS  INTERCEDING FOR THEM. Aaron and Hur held his hands up-one on one side, one on the other. Exodus 17:12 Thank you.  Those two words have such a greater meaning in my life these days.  Honestly, if I had fainted, I would never believe that God could be so extraordinarily good to my wife and me.  Yes we pray; yes we believe; yet and still, we always felt so unworthy.  For some time my wife, Deronda, has been blogging about our experiences with conceiving a child of our own on her site, TheOtherSideoftheBlessing.  Each week, she shares a little bit more about our journey and how God blessed us despite our fertility doctors giving us a 5% chance at conception.  Even after three failed fertility treatments, we still trusted God.  Today, we are a little over 26 weeks (Praise the Lord) and we are excited to meet our daughter, Braylen Jael.  But it's been a journey.             In my season of thanks, I am so very thankful for the relationships we have that have been strengthened by this journey God has designed for our lives.  So many have sown seeds of thankfulness, prayer, and strength as we went through that which we have endured.  I recall, two friends in particular, who acted as living testimonies of God's promises.  I so vividly remember one evening Deronda and I, along with our friends, had a date night where we went to the movies to see "War Room" and have dinner.  While in the center of the restaurant the topic of child birth came up.  Our friends reminded us to continue to speak the name of our child in the atmosphere.  They agreed with us in prayer that God will perform in this situation.  As we spoke, the tears welled in my eyes because I knew that this last procedure had failed.  As we talked, my heart ached and I felt so overwhelmed by the circumstances surrounding our conception, or lack thereof.  I felt lifeless, as if I was a failure, my soul had literally collapsed to the ground.  The irony of it all is in my collapsing, I had this strong sense that these two friends of ours were holding me up.  They were literally not allowing me to hit the floor.             As I fell into their arms (in a spiritual sense) I was quickly reminded that those who intercede for others, better make sure there is someone interceding for them.  Intercession is spiritual warfare.  It is not for the faint or the feeble.  In Exodus 17, the reader is exposed to a detailed description of the battle between the Israelites and the Amalekites.  According to the text, as long as Moses was lifting up his arms, the Israelites were winning the battle.  But every time Moses' arms grew tired and were lowered, the Israelites would begin to fail.  Aaron and Hur saw what was occurring and immediately when alongside Moses and lifted his arms until the battle was won.             Today, I simply want to thank God that our friends were there to lift up our arms.  If they had allowed us to fail, we would not be celebrating the very gift of God growing in the womb of my wife.  It's an absolute wonder what the Lord can do!  I challenge you today, to discover the intercessors in your life.  Who are the people that will hold you up and hold you together until the battle is won.  I promise you, no matter how strong you are, there are things in this life that you are not designed to go through alone.  Be encouraged, someone is praying for you even right now.

For Your Glory

The suffering of this present time isn't worthy to be compared to the glory that will be revealed in us. 
Romans 8:18


Singer/Songwriter, Christal Brown Heyward wrote a song years ago entitled, "For Your Glory." Almost 5 years ago on 11/11/11 at her Tonight We Worship album release, I was able to hear her sing live, "For Your Glory."  I didn't realize how the song would minister to me and so many others back then as it does even more today.  The lyrics simply states:

"I've been through so much, but Lord it was for your glory. I've taken so much, but Lord, it was for your glory. In spite of all I'm Going through, and in spite of what the devil tried to do. Lord it's for your glory! It was for your Glory!! Everything I've gone through it was for the Lord's Glory!"

With every text message, Facebook Message, phone call, or email received about our journey of faith to fertility, I understand better now that it was all for God's glory. The tears we cried were for His glory. The failed fertility treatments were about us understanding how we can minister to and help those who are on their journey to fertility because we too have been on the road they are on. Though many people have surmised that we were blessed when we simply decided to wait on God and stop all fertility treatments, I tend to believe that it was because He was building our testimony that took 3 years to truly unfold. Many have also said "what the devil meant for evil God turned it around." I personally believe that it had nothing to do with the devil because God, all by his magnificent self, qualified us to be His mouthpiece to encourage others. It was all for His glory.

I'm honored each day that I have the strength and ability to share our testimony with others. I'm more honored that He used me as His vessel to spread the word of  our difficulty expanding our family. The irony of this all is I didn't always feel this way. In fact, I remember when I was going through the journey, all I wanted was an immediate result and my prayers answered by God. I could care less about being someone's witness through their difficulty. How can I effectively witness to anyone when in fact my close family and friends had no real idea of what we were really going through?  How could God use me when I've cried more than I smiled?  When I am told things like, "I'm so glad you are telling your story because I never would've had enough courage to do so" or "You are truly brave for for being so transparent" I beam with pride because again......... God chose me knowing I would not only tell our testimony but proclaim He was the one that gets the glory.

I didn't understand then that God was really building my testimony and my strength to deal with what I would face in order that I may tell our story. Everything that happened was for His glory and I am so excited that He chose me.



Scripture Reference: The suffering of this present time isn't worthy to be compared to the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18



Song Reference:  "For Your Glory" by Christal Brown Heyward
Click Picture below to listen.


Contact:
Christal Brown Heyward
gibsongmusic@aol.com
843.452.6867

We've Got to Get Out of Here

I refused to let my world crash all around me. Today was a big day for my husband and our friends. This was the day my husband would stand and deliver his annual conference report, our good friend and brother was being ordained an Itinerant Elder, a great friend of the family was doing a health presentation and by the way, we weren't pregnant.

After seeing the results, we prayed and I reminded hubby that we needed to be strong. We have to get through the day. We can't just stay here and cry. We can't go to conference looking defeated. As I was encouraging him I was encouraging myself and trying so hard not to cry. He cried.

We arrived at the church, smiled and hugged everyone as we had done all week. We were still Rev. and Mrs. Washington. We couldn't stay in bed and wallow in the fact that we were both broken. It was really a "take up your bed and walk" kind of day. I made it through the morning and was ready to have lunch with the other minister's spouses and the pastors. We were almost done with the morning session and was ready for a breather and time to stretch my legs from sitting all morning. The final thing on the agenda for the morning was a Memorial Service and recognizing those who passed away since the last conference year. I was fine as they called the names of those who passed away. I was fine when they called the names of the Emanuel 9. I wasn't okay when they sang the song, "It is Well With my Soul."  I cried. I kept telling God it was well with my soul but it wasn't.

How is it possible for me to mourn something/someone that I never lost? After the memorial I made a beeline to my husband and I told him "we've got to get out of here!" I felt like I was about to about to cry again and I didn't need everyone asking or assuming what could be wrong. I put on the biggest pair of sunglasses I had in my purse and we left for lunch. I cried for a good 15 minutes straight. I cried out to God, "What is it that you want me to do? Did I do something in my younger years that were so horrible that I'm being punished?" I had so much hope in Him with this last procedure and my body aligned and did everything that it was suppose to do. Why is it not working? After crying a few more minutes, my husband and I went to lunch at a local Charleston spot away from everyone else. I really didn't have an appetite but I knew I had to eat something. After lunch I stopped to refresh my makeup and tried to put on a happy face. I'd much rather be home in bed but that wasn't possible because I had to make sure I was there to support my husband as he gave his report.  I don't know how but we've got to get out of here!

After lunch we arrived back at the conference and it was almost time for my husband to give his report. The visiting Bishop who was listening to the reports requested that all couples hug and kiss before the pastor delivered the report. Everyone looking on as we stood at the podium ready to give the report were looking to giggle or ooooh after we kissed had no idea what we had faced earlier that morning. I was anxious to get another hug and love kiss from my husband to lift my spirits and so did he. Best Hug and kiss I received all day. The day went forward and so did the night session. We left for the evening and cuddled all night. I don't think either of us slept. In fact hubby was extremely restless and got up at 3 am to do work on his laptop.

The next day was the final day of conference and I figured if I can just make it through today I would be great. At the close of the conference, my husband held my hand and said to me, "I know this has been tough for you. I know it hurts. I am amazed at your strength. Last night I wasn't working on my laptop, I was booking flights and hotels for the next 6 days. We've got to get out of here! You and I need to be refueled and we can't do it here in Charleston. When we get home from church tomorrow, please pack a few bags we are going on a vacation."

We didn't allow anyone to know where we were going. In fact just for safety measures we allowed our parents to only hear our voices at take off and when we landed.

The final day of annual conference. It's amazing how we don't look like what we were going through.
 This picture on social media got so many likes when we were so broken. #praising 

Who's Report Will You Believe?

As a result of "Commanding my Health" I realized that I needed to also not put all of my faith in one doctor. A good friend once told me that doctors, lawyers, and other professionals of the sort are "PRACTICING" they don't know it all. She also reminded me I needed to be comfortable with the person that I am entrusting this process to. It was time for a second opinion.

I had all of my medical records sent to the new Reproductive Endocrinologist and was all set for my appointment.  The appointment was set for June 2015, 2 months after the results of the 2nd failed IUI.

When I pulled in the parking lot of the medical office something felt different. Butterflies were flying all around my car and I noticed an iron statue of an egret or a stork. The office was warm and inviting and the staff was amazing. Maybe they felt in their spirits what I had gone through the last 2 1/2 years and were extremely sympathetic in knowing I was coming for a second opinion.  I waited for a few moments and I was called back to meet with the doctor.

"So tell me about yourself? Your husband? Tell me about why you are here?"  This doctor was wasting no time. I was glad he cared enough to get to know me before he reported his findings from the stack of at least 6 charts on his desk that I knew were mine. I told him a little about myself, occupation, about my husband and him pastoring. Immediately when he found out my husband was an AME pastor he offered his condolences for the Emanuel 9 tragedy that happened exactly 2 weeks prior to my visit. After a few minutes of telling why I was here, he reared back in his chair and said let's get started. Are you ready?  (I'm sure it's a rhetorical question so there was really no need for an answer but I answered anyway.) "Yes Doctor, I'm ready!"

He looked at me and looked at my chart and asked 2 questions that changed my life. "Who told you that you had PCOS? What tests did they do?"  He didn't allow me a chance to answer and instead began going over my lab numbers from the last few years and told me that I may have been misdiagnosed. Apparently, you can't diagnosis a patient with PCOS simply by the ultrasound, the lab results must also confirm the diagnosis. I in fact had been diagnosed on European standards. This doctor looked me in my eyes and said, "I know you are a believer and just like the Emanuel 9 tragedy, you have to not only be Charleston Strong but Deronda Strong. You have to be strong knowing that even if none of the fertility treatments ever work you know that nothing is 'wrong' with you except what we call unexplained infertility" He continued to pour into me and I wept. Happy tears flowed. I didn't feel empty inside. I didn't feel barren. I didn't feel sterile or any other adjective used to describe the word infertile because I knew that was no longer me. He then did an ultrasound of my reproductive organs. When I looked at the screen I was SHOCKED!! I remember what the ultrasounds looked like before. This ultrasound showed one of my ovaries with a pearl like bracelet and the other ovary looked totally different than before an was NORMAL! I couldn't wait to get out of the office so I could scream, shout and call my husband. Right then in there I let out a cry and a "Thank you God!" and the nurse just nodded and smiled as the doctor patted my shoulders and left the room.  As I left the office a yellow butterfly landed on my shoulder and was circling around my hair. I called hubby and gave him the news and he let out a "Praise the Lord!!!" 

I was praising God all the way home and was elated. I pulled into the driveway of our home and yellow butterflies were flying all around the front of our home and when I looked in the lake behind our home there was a white stork. Praise Break!!!!! I began thanking God for the signs and confirmation.

We decided to try once more with an IUI. My numbers were amazing. My body was doing what it needed to do on its' on and I didn't have to take any more of the fertility meds. Last attempt and were done. Husband was a little uncertain but we prayed and went forth. When we received our calendar of when to test to see if we got a positive/negative result it was the day before the last day of our church's Annual Conference. We were hopeful. This could be great or it could be bad but we still trusted. September 23, 2015 at 5:30 am I took the test. We aren't pregnant. 

Scripture: Isaiah 53:1  “Who would have believed what we now report? Who could have seen the Lord's hand in this?

Command Your Health

After the results of the 2nd failed IUI, I was still hopeful. I remember the day vividly and of how broken we were. Then as clear as day I heard the voice of God telling me, “Command your Health!” (Blank Stare) Command my Health? Did God really think I wasn’t doing that? I’ve been doing that since day one. I’ve always been taught not to question God but I had to on this one. I always speak life into everyone else and decree and declare things so I realized that’s what he was talking about.

I prayed, anointed myself and said, “God this one’s on You!” Let’s go! I began commanding every part of my body to do what it was supposed to do. I commanded every part of my body to align, be healed and work in accordance to God’s plan for me to be fertile, fruitful and to multiply.

I began to research success stories of women conceiving and having babies with my same diagnosis of PCOS. To my surprise there were tons of success stories. It was encouraging to see the thousands of women posting their stories. I immediately decreed and declared that I too would be able to post one day of my success. Many women had undergone IUI’s, taken meds like Metformin (prescribed), Maca Root, (natural medication) Vitex (natural meds) and Letrozole to become pregnant. I had already taken Metformin and Letrozole as part of my fertility treatment plan and nothing happened.

One of the success stories led me to Babycenter.com where they were discussing how they were blessed with babies. I began reading all of the comments and one stuck out to me. All of the other comments were in black but this one was in purple. It simply said, “Don’t allow anyone to tell you that you cannot conceive. Everything including this happens in His time.” I felt so much better reading that. I knew it was confirmation and continued to command my health. As I continued to peruse the success stories I noticed there was an advertisement for another fertility specialist in my city for complimentary second opinions. Am I strong enough to do this? I decided to wait. Breathe, relax and continue seeking God.

Matthew 21:22 “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."