"Excuse me if I get a little Giddy or maybe even strange"---- It's Father's Day

"Tomorrow is Father’s Day! I am so very happy because this Father’s Day is so much different than any I’ve experienced in the past for this in fact is my first Father’s Day as a real life dad. Yes, as a Pastor, I’ve always received messages, cards, and even gifts on Father’s Day simply because of the calling over my life, but this one is totally different since we are actual parents…Look where God has brought us from. So if I’m a little giddy, can’t stop smiling, or overwhelmingly emotional tomorrow, please let me have that time, because guess what…..my baby’s having a baby, and I’m a daddy!!!! ‪#‎BraylensDaddy‬"--- Facebook Status of Jarrett Washington

I read his status on last evening and my heart melted.  I recall Father's Day 2012 as if it were yesterday. My father was delivering the Father's Day message at the first church we were assigned to. As my husband got up to introduce him, he thanked my father for being an amazing father in love and a few other sentimental words. He then said words that I've never forgotten. He said, "I'm wishing the Ole Man and all the other father's an amazing Father's Day. I may not be one this Father's Day but next Father's Day I will be a father!"  That was four years ago. During our fertility journey my husband never gave up on remembering God's promise to him. 

For years I've seen him wear homemade Dr. Suess hats reading to kindergarten students, cheering at football games, helping with essays, teaching boys how to tie a tie and even allowing our godson to have our home as a haven with no rules... sliding down banisters and even saying yes to him when his parents said no. Last summer I witnessed him cry at the airport when he saw one of the youth from our church off to California not knowing when she would return. I've witnessed him stand with a little boy at Easter who forgot part of his speech to give him support. I've seen him hold my hands and felt him dry my tears as we waited for God to expand our family and I saw how he fell apart on April 17 and again on September 25 when we received the news that our fertility treatments didn't work. That was then..... This is now. If you TRULY knew our story you would understand our celebration and praise. 

A few weeks ago at one of our baby showers everyone witnessed the joy that he felt of being a dad when he promised to only open one of the many gifts we received because there was an abundance of gifts and blessings. Instead of opening one gift......let's just say my husband enjoyed himself and rightfully so. He opened every gift that was presented. 

I have a few tricks up my sleeves today as I celebrate my husband on his first of many Father's Day. As I turn 36 weeks today, time is winding down and he will have lots of work to put in.... lol! I'm so grateful that God has blessed my husband and I to truly celebrate our own Father's Day. He deserves it! He was faithful over the few things and God is blessing him with his own. This was no easy journey and the road was far from smooth and easy but look how God has moved. My husband is going to be a daddy............ He is a daddy. He's our furbaby Jaxson's human daddy and Braylen's daddy. If you see my husband is giddy today, please praise and celebrate with him!

Happy Father's Day Jarrett Britton Washington!

Scripture: Psalm 127: 3-5 "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court"

THOSE WHO INTERCEDE FOR OTHERS, SHOULD MAKE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS INTERCEDING FOR THEM.

I am honored to have my husband contribute to today's blog. The feelings from infertility, fertility issues, or difficulty expanding your family is not isolated to just the female. I remember after our initial appointment, I prayed to God, "If there is an issue, please let it be with me because I can handle this and I can go through all of the procedures to "fix" what is wrong."  I was relieved when all of his tests came back and he was not the source of our fertility issues. Now I needed him to be strong for me and help me work pass the "diagnosis" from doctors as well as to pray like never before. I didn't realize that my husband was also secretly going through and having just as many low moments as I was. 

How do you console a crying wife when you both are dealing with the same issue? We are both ever grateful for those who were intercessors and praying for us during this time. 

THOSE WHO INTERCEDE FOR OTHERS,  SHOULD MAKE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS  INTERCEDING FOR THEM. Aaron and Hur held his hands up-one on one side, one on the other. Exodus 17:12 Thank you.  Those two words have such a greater meaning in my life these days.  Honestly, if I had fainted, I would never believe that God could be so extraordinarily good to my wife and me.  Yes we pray; yes we believe; yet and still, we always felt so unworthy.  For some time my wife, Deronda, has been blogging about our experiences with conceiving a child of our own on her site, TheOtherSideoftheBlessing.  Each week, she shares a little bit more about our journey and how God blessed us despite our fertility doctors giving us a 5% chance at conception.  Even after three failed fertility treatments, we still trusted God.  Today, we are a little over 26 weeks (Praise the Lord) and we are excited to meet our daughter, Braylen Jael.  But it's been a journey.             In my season of thanks, I am so very thankful for the relationships we have that have been strengthened by this journey God has designed for our lives.  So many have sown seeds of thankfulness, prayer, and strength as we went through that which we have endured.  I recall, two friends in particular, who acted as living testimonies of God's promises.  I so vividly remember one evening Deronda and I, along with our friends, had a date night where we went to the movies to see "War Room" and have dinner.  While in the center of the restaurant the topic of child birth came up.  Our friends reminded us to continue to speak the name of our child in the atmosphere.  They agreed with us in prayer that God will perform in this situation.  As we spoke, the tears welled in my eyes because I knew that this last procedure had failed.  As we talked, my heart ached and I felt so overwhelmed by the circumstances surrounding our conception, or lack thereof.  I felt lifeless, as if I was a failure, my soul had literally collapsed to the ground.  The irony of it all is in my collapsing, I had this strong sense that these two friends of ours were holding me up.  They were literally not allowing me to hit the floor.             As I fell into their arms (in a spiritual sense) I was quickly reminded that those who intercede for others, better make sure there is someone interceding for them.  Intercession is spiritual warfare.  It is not for the faint or the feeble.  In Exodus 17, the reader is exposed to a detailed description of the battle between the Israelites and the Amalekites.  According to the text, as long as Moses was lifting up his arms, the Israelites were winning the battle.  But every time Moses' arms grew tired and were lowered, the Israelites would begin to fail.  Aaron and Hur saw what was occurring and immediately when alongside Moses and lifted his arms until the battle was won.             Today, I simply want to thank God that our friends were there to lift up our arms.  If they had allowed us to fail, we would not be celebrating the very gift of God growing in the womb of my wife.  It's an absolute wonder what the Lord can do!  I challenge you today, to discover the intercessors in your life.  Who are the people that will hold you up and hold you together until the battle is won.  I promise you, no matter how strong you are, there are things in this life that you are not designed to go through alone.  Be encouraged, someone is praying for you even right now.

Jesus Did It!!!!

It was the second week in November. I had just gotten through FaceTiming my nephew and singing Happy Birthday to him and allowing him to show me all of his Clemson Tiger gear that his parents bought for his 4th Birthday. It was Empire night and I was relaxing with my feet up having a glass of wine and missing my husband. He left earlier that day for our District Convocation in Florence, SC.

During commercial break I received a text from a friend who was a Fertility Massage Therapist. She wanted to know if I was ready to start getting massages. I was ready but I reminded her that she wanted me to wait until my menstrual cycle arrived before I scheduled it. She asked me when it was supposed to arrive and I checked my menstrual app and it said it was suppose to arrive October 17. It was November 11. I shrugged my shoulders and told her that I was feeling weird so I'm sure my cycle would start any day. She texted back, "Take a pregnancy Test." I looked at the phone and I was certain she texted the wrong person. I told her that I couldn't go down that road again and I would instead wait. This answer must not have been good enough for her because she texted me again to say, "Take a pregnancy test!"

I decided that taking a pregnancy test wasn't a top priority on my list, especially when I needed to be packing to join my husband at convocation, shampooing my tresses, and preparing for work the next day all the while trying to watch Empire.  So I did what was important. Besides, I had taken over 50 pregnancy tests in the last 3 years and they all said NOT PREGNANT or showed one lonely line on the test strip.

I waited while I was conditioning my hair to humor myself and take a pregnancy test. I walked away and started packing and getting things ready for my departure. As I was blow drying my hair I looked down and noticed two lines on the test. I did a double take thinking I had taken an ovulation predictor test instead of a pregnancy test. I pulled out five more tests to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. Positive, Positive, Positive, Positive, Positive!  Okay this couldn't be right. I immediately called my friend Aubrey in the fertility support group to confirm that I was pregnant and to see if I needed to take a ClearBlue Easy Test (weird I know). Aubrey started screaming in the background and so did her husband Josh. I was laughing hysterically because of my nerves and also because I couldn't believe it. All of the "plans" I ever had of finding out I was pregnant and telling my husband we were pregnant went out of the window. I was so nervous and unsure of next steps that I just started crying and saying, "I'm pregnant! I'm really pregnant!"  Sweet Aubrey kept saying how happy she was and her husband in the background was telling me I needed to tell my husband right away just not via text.

Still in disbelief, I drove to CVS pharmacy and got a Clear Blue Easy test that revealed I was pregnant. I then I had to figure out how to tell my husband. I didn't have much time to think because he called. He was talking about my trip the next day and he was giving me advice to stay in Charleston versus taking the two hour ride on the road by myself. He talked about us having two cars at convocation and blah blah blah.. I remember saying, "No babes, it's okay. I'm still coming after work tomorrow."  He kept disagreeing and said that I needed to listen to him for once. I snapped back! "No! I need you to listen to me! I've been having a really great evening and you are really ruining this moment for me. I'm coming to Florence tomorrow because I have something important to tell you face to face! Jarrett, I'm pregnant!!!!!"  You could have heard a rat pee on cotton! Dead silence. He asked if I was sure and I assured him I was because I took nearly 10 tests before I called him. He was so happy! He changed his tone of voice. Told me to rest so I could see him the next day and to be careful on the road!!

As I went to bed that night I played an interlude by Gospel Singer Tasha Cobb recorded, Jesus Did It! When we first heard the song months before, we declared that this song would be our testimony.  In the song she prophetically spoke about how we were receiving  Denial, after denial, after denial and No, after No, after No! And that God was about to give us a Yes! She said Denial three times and No three times. I thought about November 17, 2014 when we got a No! I thought about April 17, 2015 when we got a No! I thought about September 25, 2015 when we got our NO and here it is on November 11, 2015 God gave us a YES!!! I couldn't wait to talk to my wonderful ObGyn to share my testimony and to email the other Reproductive Endocrinologists and tell them, "Jesus Did it!"

After doing a little calculations, I was already 6-8 weeks pregnant!  hmmmmm... It was definitely a Vacation Baby! God answered our prayers while on vacation SUDDENLY!!!!!

If you have been reading these posts in this blog, our testimony has been and continues to be, "JESUS DID IT!"


Song: Jesus Did It by Tasha Cobb

Command Your Health

After the results of the 2nd failed IUI, I was still hopeful. I remember the day vividly and of how broken we were. Then as clear as day I heard the voice of God telling me, “Command your Health!” (Blank Stare) Command my Health? Did God really think I wasn’t doing that? I’ve been doing that since day one. I’ve always been taught not to question God but I had to on this one. I always speak life into everyone else and decree and declare things so I realized that’s what he was talking about.

I prayed, anointed myself and said, “God this one’s on You!” Let’s go! I began commanding every part of my body to do what it was supposed to do. I commanded every part of my body to align, be healed and work in accordance to God’s plan for me to be fertile, fruitful and to multiply.

I began to research success stories of women conceiving and having babies with my same diagnosis of PCOS. To my surprise there were tons of success stories. It was encouraging to see the thousands of women posting their stories. I immediately decreed and declared that I too would be able to post one day of my success. Many women had undergone IUI’s, taken meds like Metformin (prescribed), Maca Root, (natural medication) Vitex (natural meds) and Letrozole to become pregnant. I had already taken Metformin and Letrozole as part of my fertility treatment plan and nothing happened.

One of the success stories led me to Babycenter.com where they were discussing how they were blessed with babies. I began reading all of the comments and one stuck out to me. All of the other comments were in black but this one was in purple. It simply said, “Don’t allow anyone to tell you that you cannot conceive. Everything including this happens in His time.” I felt so much better reading that. I knew it was confirmation and continued to command my health. As I continued to peruse the success stories I noticed there was an advertisement for another fertility specialist in my city for complimentary second opinions. Am I strong enough to do this? I decided to wait. Breathe, relax and continue seeking God.

Matthew 21:22 “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

How Long will this Feeling Last?

“God, my God!! What is it that you want me to learn? Help me to learn from it, accept it and console me!” The drive home from work was the longest 15 minutes ever. I honestly don’t remember the drive. I just vaguely remember crawling into bed and wishing the pain and the hurt in my heart would be relieved. Even my sweet fur baby, Jaxson knew something wasn’t quite right.

Shortly after I arrived home, my husband came home as well. I remember him calling my name to see where I was in our home but I was too weak to respond and I felt like if I parted my lips to say anything it would result in me crying again. He told me he cancelled all of his meetings at church because his first ministry will always be his family. I cried even more because my husband keeps a very organized schedule and never cancels any meetings… Until now.

It’s a blessing to be married to someone who knows you and you don’t have to spend countless words trying to explain how you feel. Hubby crawled into bed with me and simply allowed me to cry, vent, ask countless questions he couldn’t give the answer to and then dried every tear that fell on my cheeks and watched me fall asleep. I woke up from a nap and the only thing I could ask my husband were, “How long will this feeling last? Is this depression? If so, I don’t like this feeling and I can’t stay like this!” I could tell those questions broke his heart but he reassured me that I would definitely not always feel like this. He was right.

Two days later I was able to function at a capacity where I was able to get things done and begin to prepare for the Thanksgiving Holiday. Life has to go on right? People needed me. They needed my husband to be their pastor. Someone needed us for something regardless of how low we were.

We got through Thanksgiving and hosting our families at our home. I’m so thankful no one asked about children and how long we were going to wait.

Christmas came and went. New Year’s Day was celebrated with family and friends. How long will this feeling last?


As I look back, sometimes I think we both were walking on eggshells unsure whether or not to bring up the fact that we had a failed IUI and still not conceiving no matter how much we were enjoying each other intimately. For a few months we simply asked each other how each other’s day was and tried to remain prayerful and hopeful because we knew it would one day happen for us.

“How long will this feeling last?” I never got the answer………………

What Are You Waiting For? When are You having Kids?

When you are having difficulty expanding your family, the last words you want to hear are "What are you waiting for?" or "When are you having Kids? Those words hurt and cut so deep. I don't think people really understand how that question can make a wonderful day suddenly spiral into moment where you are remembering the fact you aren't pregnant, you have more tests to have done, more labs to get drawn and more hills to climb. It serves as a constant reminder of the fact that you are still on the Other Side of the Blessing. What's The Other Side of the Blessing? 

The Other Side of the Blessing is that place that really doesn't feel good. It's that place where you are trying to cleave to every promise that God has said will happen but the weight of it not happening when you think it should happen is so heavy upon your heart. It's a place where no one has the words to comfort you and hearing the words, "Relax it will happen" makes you cringe and steam angrily exits from your ears! It's the place where you are waiting to get to The Other Side of the Blessing.... Where you are happy because you have gone through your trials and you finally hear from God. 

I know when I've been asked that question it was not intended to hurt me because it is the next thing that happens after you get married, right? It's only asked because people see how good we are with other people's children and how much the children in our congregations love us so much, right? They only ask because we are loving people who need to bring other loving people into the world to make it a better place, right? Well those words still hurt.

I wish more people would think twice before asking a couple, "What are you waiting for?"