Jesus Did It!!!!

It was the second week in November. I had just gotten through FaceTiming my nephew and singing Happy Birthday to him and allowing him to show me all of his Clemson Tiger gear that his parents bought for his 4th Birthday. It was Empire night and I was relaxing with my feet up having a glass of wine and missing my husband. He left earlier that day for our District Convocation in Florence, SC.

During commercial break I received a text from a friend who was a Fertility Massage Therapist. She wanted to know if I was ready to start getting massages. I was ready but I reminded her that she wanted me to wait until my menstrual cycle arrived before I scheduled it. She asked me when it was supposed to arrive and I checked my menstrual app and it said it was suppose to arrive October 17. It was November 11. I shrugged my shoulders and told her that I was feeling weird so I'm sure my cycle would start any day. She texted back, "Take a pregnancy Test." I looked at the phone and I was certain she texted the wrong person. I told her that I couldn't go down that road again and I would instead wait. This answer must not have been good enough for her because she texted me again to say, "Take a pregnancy test!"

I decided that taking a pregnancy test wasn't a top priority on my list, especially when I needed to be packing to join my husband at convocation, shampooing my tresses, and preparing for work the next day all the while trying to watch Empire.  So I did what was important. Besides, I had taken over 50 pregnancy tests in the last 3 years and they all said NOT PREGNANT or showed one lonely line on the test strip.

I waited while I was conditioning my hair to humor myself and take a pregnancy test. I walked away and started packing and getting things ready for my departure. As I was blow drying my hair I looked down and noticed two lines on the test. I did a double take thinking I had taken an ovulation predictor test instead of a pregnancy test. I pulled out five more tests to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. Positive, Positive, Positive, Positive, Positive!  Okay this couldn't be right. I immediately called my friend Aubrey in the fertility support group to confirm that I was pregnant and to see if I needed to take a ClearBlue Easy Test (weird I know). Aubrey started screaming in the background and so did her husband Josh. I was laughing hysterically because of my nerves and also because I couldn't believe it. All of the "plans" I ever had of finding out I was pregnant and telling my husband we were pregnant went out of the window. I was so nervous and unsure of next steps that I just started crying and saying, "I'm pregnant! I'm really pregnant!"  Sweet Aubrey kept saying how happy she was and her husband in the background was telling me I needed to tell my husband right away just not via text.

Still in disbelief, I drove to CVS pharmacy and got a Clear Blue Easy test that revealed I was pregnant. I then I had to figure out how to tell my husband. I didn't have much time to think because he called. He was talking about my trip the next day and he was giving me advice to stay in Charleston versus taking the two hour ride on the road by myself. He talked about us having two cars at convocation and blah blah blah.. I remember saying, "No babes, it's okay. I'm still coming after work tomorrow."  He kept disagreeing and said that I needed to listen to him for once. I snapped back! "No! I need you to listen to me! I've been having a really great evening and you are really ruining this moment for me. I'm coming to Florence tomorrow because I have something important to tell you face to face! Jarrett, I'm pregnant!!!!!"  You could have heard a rat pee on cotton! Dead silence. He asked if I was sure and I assured him I was because I took nearly 10 tests before I called him. He was so happy! He changed his tone of voice. Told me to rest so I could see him the next day and to be careful on the road!!

As I went to bed that night I played an interlude by Gospel Singer Tasha Cobb recorded, Jesus Did It! When we first heard the song months before, we declared that this song would be our testimony.  In the song she prophetically spoke about how we were receiving  Denial, after denial, after denial and No, after No, after No! And that God was about to give us a Yes! She said Denial three times and No three times. I thought about November 17, 2014 when we got a No! I thought about April 17, 2015 when we got a No! I thought about September 25, 2015 when we got our NO and here it is on November 11, 2015 God gave us a YES!!! I couldn't wait to talk to my wonderful ObGyn to share my testimony and to email the other Reproductive Endocrinologists and tell them, "Jesus Did it!"

After doing a little calculations, I was already 6-8 weeks pregnant!  hmmmmm... It was definitely a Vacation Baby! God answered our prayers while on vacation SUDDENLY!!!!!

If you have been reading these posts in this blog, our testimony has been and continues to be, "JESUS DID IT!"


Song: Jesus Did It by Tasha Cobb

Who's Report Will You Believe?

As a result of "Commanding my Health" I realized that I needed to also not put all of my faith in one doctor. A good friend once told me that doctors, lawyers, and other professionals of the sort are "PRACTICING" they don't know it all. She also reminded me I needed to be comfortable with the person that I am entrusting this process to. It was time for a second opinion.

I had all of my medical records sent to the new Reproductive Endocrinologist and was all set for my appointment.  The appointment was set for June 2015, 2 months after the results of the 2nd failed IUI.

When I pulled in the parking lot of the medical office something felt different. Butterflies were flying all around my car and I noticed an iron statue of an egret or a stork. The office was warm and inviting and the staff was amazing. Maybe they felt in their spirits what I had gone through the last 2 1/2 years and were extremely sympathetic in knowing I was coming for a second opinion.  I waited for a few moments and I was called back to meet with the doctor.

"So tell me about yourself? Your husband? Tell me about why you are here?"  This doctor was wasting no time. I was glad he cared enough to get to know me before he reported his findings from the stack of at least 6 charts on his desk that I knew were mine. I told him a little about myself, occupation, about my husband and him pastoring. Immediately when he found out my husband was an AME pastor he offered his condolences for the Emanuel 9 tragedy that happened exactly 2 weeks prior to my visit. After a few minutes of telling why I was here, he reared back in his chair and said let's get started. Are you ready?  (I'm sure it's a rhetorical question so there was really no need for an answer but I answered anyway.) "Yes Doctor, I'm ready!"

He looked at me and looked at my chart and asked 2 questions that changed my life. "Who told you that you had PCOS? What tests did they do?"  He didn't allow me a chance to answer and instead began going over my lab numbers from the last few years and told me that I may have been misdiagnosed. Apparently, you can't diagnosis a patient with PCOS simply by the ultrasound, the lab results must also confirm the diagnosis. I in fact had been diagnosed on European standards. This doctor looked me in my eyes and said, "I know you are a believer and just like the Emanuel 9 tragedy, you have to not only be Charleston Strong but Deronda Strong. You have to be strong knowing that even if none of the fertility treatments ever work you know that nothing is 'wrong' with you except what we call unexplained infertility" He continued to pour into me and I wept. Happy tears flowed. I didn't feel empty inside. I didn't feel barren. I didn't feel sterile or any other adjective used to describe the word infertile because I knew that was no longer me. He then did an ultrasound of my reproductive organs. When I looked at the screen I was SHOCKED!! I remember what the ultrasounds looked like before. This ultrasound showed one of my ovaries with a pearl like bracelet and the other ovary looked totally different than before an was NORMAL! I couldn't wait to get out of the office so I could scream, shout and call my husband. Right then in there I let out a cry and a "Thank you God!" and the nurse just nodded and smiled as the doctor patted my shoulders and left the room.  As I left the office a yellow butterfly landed on my shoulder and was circling around my hair. I called hubby and gave him the news and he let out a "Praise the Lord!!!" 

I was praising God all the way home and was elated. I pulled into the driveway of our home and yellow butterflies were flying all around the front of our home and when I looked in the lake behind our home there was a white stork. Praise Break!!!!! I began thanking God for the signs and confirmation.

We decided to try once more with an IUI. My numbers were amazing. My body was doing what it needed to do on its' on and I didn't have to take any more of the fertility meds. Last attempt and were done. Husband was a little uncertain but we prayed and went forth. When we received our calendar of when to test to see if we got a positive/negative result it was the day before the last day of our church's Annual Conference. We were hopeful. This could be great or it could be bad but we still trusted. September 23, 2015 at 5:30 am I took the test. We aren't pregnant. 

Scripture: Isaiah 53:1  “Who would have believed what we now report? Who could have seen the Lord's hand in this?

Command Your Health

After the results of the 2nd failed IUI, I was still hopeful. I remember the day vividly and of how broken we were. Then as clear as day I heard the voice of God telling me, “Command your Health!” (Blank Stare) Command my Health? Did God really think I wasn’t doing that? I’ve been doing that since day one. I’ve always been taught not to question God but I had to on this one. I always speak life into everyone else and decree and declare things so I realized that’s what he was talking about.

I prayed, anointed myself and said, “God this one’s on You!” Let’s go! I began commanding every part of my body to do what it was supposed to do. I commanded every part of my body to align, be healed and work in accordance to God’s plan for me to be fertile, fruitful and to multiply.

I began to research success stories of women conceiving and having babies with my same diagnosis of PCOS. To my surprise there were tons of success stories. It was encouraging to see the thousands of women posting their stories. I immediately decreed and declared that I too would be able to post one day of my success. Many women had undergone IUI’s, taken meds like Metformin (prescribed), Maca Root, (natural medication) Vitex (natural meds) and Letrozole to become pregnant. I had already taken Metformin and Letrozole as part of my fertility treatment plan and nothing happened.

One of the success stories led me to Babycenter.com where they were discussing how they were blessed with babies. I began reading all of the comments and one stuck out to me. All of the other comments were in black but this one was in purple. It simply said, “Don’t allow anyone to tell you that you cannot conceive. Everything including this happens in His time.” I felt so much better reading that. I knew it was confirmation and continued to command my health. As I continued to peruse the success stories I noticed there was an advertisement for another fertility specialist in my city for complimentary second opinions. Am I strong enough to do this? I decided to wait. Breathe, relax and continue seeking God.

Matthew 21:22 “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

For where two or three gather in my name

I must say I have an amazing village who have been supportive during this time. Not everyone was or will ever be privy to every part of this journey but it was important for me to have individuals who could relate to me as well as pour into me that which I thought was lost.

My fertility journey sisters from Seacoast and my For the Love of Mom Genes founder Aubrey Atkinson were amazing. I first encountered this group of amazing women at my first meeting at Starbucks. (Whew… I honestly thought we would meet in room with no windows sitting in a large circle and I would have to introduce myself as, ‘Hi, my name is Deronda and a doctor has said I will only have a 5% chance of conceiving on my own.’ And the response would be, ‘Hi Deronda!”  This meeting was none of the sort! It was a group of women who welcomed me with open arms, smiles and “loved me Big.” When I told them my story, they listened. They nodded. They felt my heart. Then I heard two words that I had not heard in all of the 2 ½ years I had been facing this issue, “ME TOO!” Finally a group of women from different walks of life, different races, different occupations… but we were all the same. We wanted children more than anything and we had the Faith knowing that God can do it.  I’m forever grateful to these ladies. I have gained so much strength from these ladies. They taught me to be vocal and to find my strength and to help realize I had no reason to be ashamed of my journey.  During the course of our meetings we discussed our feelings, where we were with fertility treatments, successes, losses, husbands, labs, appointments, etc. These ladies were there to support in happy times with pregnancy announcements and they were there to give hugs, calls and flowers during our most difficult times. (SORRY THAT’S ALL YOU CAN KNOW.. WHAT HAPPENS IN THE GROUP STAYS IN THE GROUP)

A few ladies from the Fertility Support Group enjoying lunch XOXO

Connect with For the love of Mom Genes

Facebook: For the Love of Mom Genes

Instagram: For the Love of Mom Genes on Instagram

My SeatMate

Along this journey I also have a sweet friend who encourages me through the process and she is my “seatmate” because she was with me through the journey. My prayer warrior and confidante that never missed a beat and even promised me that one day I would see what a ‘miracle looks like.’ Sometimes it’s hard encouraging others when you are going through but it was so easy to do this with someone who was pouring the Word back into you. I often times wish my journey with my ‘seatmate’ was a first class smooth ride where we experienced no turbulence or rough patches. It was filled with many tears and heartaches. I remember discussing our journey over ice cream and then walking around in Babies R Us saying one day we would be walking around starting our registry. Forever Grateful! Our journeys are now on a different course. Though our journey is not allowing us to sit next to each other on the same first class flight, we are now passengers on different planes flying in the same direction towards God’s promises.

Prayer Warriors

There have been so many women that God has placed in my life that know how to send up a prayer and see results. These weren't just any prayer warriors these were prayer warriors who were on "The Other Side of the Blessing!" These were they who prayed because they had been there and done that and know first hand the pain I felt. They didn't allow me to have a pity party but they prayed for me and made sure I was still praying and not allowing the Devil to have victory. They reassured me at my lowest point that God can and WILL answer prayers. 

I remember calling one of them on my way to work feeling low and she began praying immediately. She prayed the prayers that were on my heart but I thought God could no longer hear. She boldly told me to fix any areas of my life that were spiritually weak whether it be my prayer life, my marriage, friendships etc. that would block any blessing God was ready to bestow upon me.

There was another warrior who asked me to find someone in the Bible who was feeling like I was and to read how they were delivered and set free. She prayed but also reminded me 'this too shall pass.'

My special prayer warrior at work was also amazing. She has walked and prayed beside me since the day I got the first failed treatment result. She never judged me but she knew that day something wasn't right. I never knew her story until I told her mine and I gained so much strength from pint sized woman of God who had an experienced a miscarriage and 2 high risk pregnancies. What's so amazing is that she still was able to check on me during the hustle and bustle of her day and reminded me DAILY that she was praying for me. 

As I reflect on my relationships with these women it reminds of a scripture found in 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it."

Reading that Scripture reminds me that I am not alone. That which I am experiencing, someone has already faced and God didn't let them down and He won't let me now.

Because of them I am.... In every conversation, prayer, or meeting He was there as well!

Scripture: Matthew 18:20

Resources: 

Purpose Conceived Will you Deliver?

For the Love of Mom Genes

Valencya the Visionary: (link coming soon)