"Specialing" My Doctor

I'm blessed with the most amazing OBGYN ever. It's not because we are both members of the same sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. nor is it because we have mutual ties in the Charleston community. Dr. Kenosha Gleaton became my doctor in 2012 shortly after my primary care physician, Dr. Betty Obong passed away. It was almost as if God led me directly to her. I was in need of a new doctor and my friend gave a glowing reference for her and that's all I needed to hear.

Dr. Gleaton has been a major part of our Faith to Fertility journey. She always encouraged me reminding me that we were citizens of a different kingdom. As a doctor she had to give me all of the medical information I needed, however she would often tell me that spiritually God could  and would do supernatural things. She encouraged me to read the book, "You Shall Not Be Barren" and to declare that my husband and I would one day be parents. There is just something about having a doctor who believes in Christ and His promises. It's even more awesome knowing your doctor prays with and for you. This definitely was a great start to our "Christ-Centered Covenant" pregnancy. 

When we found out we were pregnant, Dr. Gleaton was over the moon with excitement. I believe she was elated because God had truly answered her prayers for Jarrett and me. The first appointment with Dr. Gleaton was amazing. The staff was awesome. It was everything I wanted and more. With every appointment brought tears of joy, excitement and just an overall sense of being grateful. Dr. Gleaton was always smiling and cheerful and just an all around earth angel. 

After speaking with friends who have had babies, they explained to me that during delivery unless your doctor is working or on call you may have another physician delivery your baby. I honestly didn't know how I felt about this. Is there a chance "Dr. G" wouldn't be there for one of my most important days ever?  I mentioned it to her nurse and she reassured me that Dr. Gleaton wouldn't miss out on this event. She said she may even come too. lol. She explained how doctors "special" their patients and no matter what happens they will be there.  In my research on the internet, I read on a mommy board how patients give their doctors gifts in advance if the baby is due during the Holidays to ensure they will be there for delivery as well as to say thank you.

I had the genius idea that I should SPECIAL my doctor and ensure she's there for Baby Braylen's delivery. I purchased her a SuperWoman shirt and thanked her for being so SPECIAL, SWEET, SUPERB, SPIRITUAL and SCHOLASTIC when it came to my health care. She was so shocked when she opened her gift. She immediately told me that her son had a matching onesie and she would be sure to take a picture of the two of them in their matching Superhero shirts.  She also reassured me that she would be there for the delivery, God's will. 

I'm forever grateful for Dr. Gleaton for being such an amazing doctor and a sweet friend. I am so excited to have Dr. Gleaton in our life as well as knowing that our baby is in good hands as she comes into this world. 

Dr. Gleaton pictured with her son.

Resources:

Dr. Kenosha Gleaton

Address: 2145 Henry Tecklenburg Dr #270, Charleston, SC 29414
Phone:(843) 789-1800

Simple Thoughts on Mother's Day

Every Mother's Day I was elated to celebrate all of the mothers in my life including my own two mothers. Even when it was difficult because God had not yet answered my prayers, I still found joy in celebrating and showering others with love.

Last Mother's Day, only 23 days after we received results of our 2nd failed IUI, I woke up to a cheerful husband who had laid out gifts for me. It was difficult to even open because I knew what it was and it was a reminder that I still was not a mommy. I opened the gift with teary eyes and read the card and the last sentenced made me cry harder but with joy in my heart. The last words prophetically said... "This is yet another Faith Gift on our journey.....you will be a mom next year.. Let's believe together!" Inside the gift box were a gift for our unborn child and a quirky book about parenting that made me laugh and smile.

This Mother's Day I celebrate all mothers still on the journey. 

I celebrate mothers whose arms are still empty. 

I celebrate mothers who didn't complete the journey to being called mom but they answer to auntie, Godmother or friend. 

I celebrate those who are first time moms this holiday.

I celebrate those who like me never gave up and are carrying their child this Mother's Day.

It's amazing how a holiday that used to make me feel so empty now has me full! I am forever humbled that God thought enough of me to go through this journey. 

National Infertility Awareness Week: Take a STAND

Never in a million years would I think I would ever face Infertility issues. I did everything in order of what society deems acceptable. I finished college, got a job, dated, married my husband and was ready to have children. For many women it does not happen in that order. 

Ever since I became transparent about our difficulty expanding our family and our journey from faith to fertility, I have met hundreds of women who are silently suffering and pained at the thought of all it would take to conceive or knowing they may never be able to conceive.  

Gospel Recording Artist, Donnie McClurkin, wrote a song entitled, Stand. The lyrics simply say:

What do you do when you've done all you can

And it seems like it's never enough?

And what do you say

When your friends turn away

And you all alone, alone?

Tell me, what do you give when you've given your all

And it seems like you can't make it through?

Well, you just stand when there's nothing left to do

You just stand, watch the Lord see you through

Yes, after you've done all you can,

You just stand

For many women facing infertility issues Standing is one of the most difficult things to do. Standing when Doctors give you 5%  or less chances of ever conceiving  a child. Standing when you have had failed fertility treatments and you are still asked "What are you waiting on?" Standing when your health insurance plans do not cover treatments nor meds is not an easy feat. 

So I decided that when God blessed my womb to bear a child I would take a STAND for the many women who are silently struggling. I never knew that starting this blog would impact the lives of so many women. I'm blessed to be a vessel that God chose for this time.  This weekend I had the opportunity to sit in a room filled with women who shared in blessing my future daughter with love and wisdom. One of her "aunties" hugged me and said, "Thank you for your story and thank you on behalf of someone who didn't get to complete the full journey to motherhood." Today I am honored that I have a voice for the "eternal aunties" who love like moms, nurturing their village with love, support and wisdom.

For many years I was on a "STOPASKING" campaign so that people would stop asking women hard questions as it relates to fertility. You know "What are you waiting for to have children?" "Something must be wrong, have you tried meds?" However after going through three rounds of failed fertility treatments and finally conceiving naturally,  I am now on a campaign to STAND for others and #STARTASKING.

#StartAsking

• Employers for insurance coverage. 
• My lawmakers and legislators to support issues important to the infertility community. 
• My Friends and family to support you.
• The media to cover infertility and the real challenges we all face. 
• My network to make a donation to the cause. 
• My  partner to get involved.
• Those who have resolved their infertility to stay involved. 
• OB/GYN or healthcare provider to talk about MY reproductive health. 
• For affordable care for treatment of a disease. (PCOS, endometriosis, Ovarian Failure, etc)
• Legal access to all family building options nationwide.
• About men’s reproductive health

As we acknowledge National Infertility Awareness Week, I encourage you to ask the right questions and become more sensitive to the needs of those who may have difficulty expanding their families. 

Resources:

Resolve: http://www.resolve.org/

National Infertility Awareness Week: http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html

25 Things To (And Not to) Say to Someone living with Infertility:  http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/25-things-to-say-and-not-to-say.html

THOSE WHO INTERCEDE FOR OTHERS, SHOULD MAKE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS INTERCEDING FOR THEM.

I am honored to have my husband contribute to today's blog. The feelings from infertility, fertility issues, or difficulty expanding your family is not isolated to just the female. I remember after our initial appointment, I prayed to God, "If there is an issue, please let it be with me because I can handle this and I can go through all of the procedures to "fix" what is wrong."  I was relieved when all of his tests came back and he was not the source of our fertility issues. Now I needed him to be strong for me and help me work pass the "diagnosis" from doctors as well as to pray like never before. I didn't realize that my husband was also secretly going through and having just as many low moments as I was. 

How do you console a crying wife when you both are dealing with the same issue? We are both ever grateful for those who were intercessors and praying for us during this time. 

THOSE WHO INTERCEDE FOR OTHERS,  SHOULD MAKE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS  INTERCEDING FOR THEM. Aaron and Hur held his hands up-one on one side, one on the other. Exodus 17:12 Thank you.  Those two words have such a greater meaning in my life these days.  Honestly, if I had fainted, I would never believe that God could be so extraordinarily good to my wife and me.  Yes we pray; yes we believe; yet and still, we always felt so unworthy.  For some time my wife, Deronda, has been blogging about our experiences with conceiving a child of our own on her site, TheOtherSideoftheBlessing.  Each week, she shares a little bit more about our journey and how God blessed us despite our fertility doctors giving us a 5% chance at conception.  Even after three failed fertility treatments, we still trusted God.  Today, we are a little over 26 weeks (Praise the Lord) and we are excited to meet our daughter, Braylen Jael.  But it's been a journey.             In my season of thanks, I am so very thankful for the relationships we have that have been strengthened by this journey God has designed for our lives.  So many have sown seeds of thankfulness, prayer, and strength as we went through that which we have endured.  I recall, two friends in particular, who acted as living testimonies of God's promises.  I so vividly remember one evening Deronda and I, along with our friends, had a date night where we went to the movies to see "War Room" and have dinner.  While in the center of the restaurant the topic of child birth came up.  Our friends reminded us to continue to speak the name of our child in the atmosphere.  They agreed with us in prayer that God will perform in this situation.  As we spoke, the tears welled in my eyes because I knew that this last procedure had failed.  As we talked, my heart ached and I felt so overwhelmed by the circumstances surrounding our conception, or lack thereof.  I felt lifeless, as if I was a failure, my soul had literally collapsed to the ground.  The irony of it all is in my collapsing, I had this strong sense that these two friends of ours were holding me up.  They were literally not allowing me to hit the floor.             As I fell into their arms (in a spiritual sense) I was quickly reminded that those who intercede for others, better make sure there is someone interceding for them.  Intercession is spiritual warfare.  It is not for the faint or the feeble.  In Exodus 17, the reader is exposed to a detailed description of the battle between the Israelites and the Amalekites.  According to the text, as long as Moses was lifting up his arms, the Israelites were winning the battle.  But every time Moses' arms grew tired and were lowered, the Israelites would begin to fail.  Aaron and Hur saw what was occurring and immediately when alongside Moses and lifted his arms until the battle was won.             Today, I simply want to thank God that our friends were there to lift up our arms.  If they had allowed us to fail, we would not be celebrating the very gift of God growing in the womb of my wife.  It's an absolute wonder what the Lord can do!  I challenge you today, to discover the intercessors in your life.  Who are the people that will hold you up and hold you together until the battle is won.  I promise you, no matter how strong you are, there are things in this life that you are not designed to go through alone.  Be encouraged, someone is praying for you even right now.

The Secret Is Out!

After waiting close to two months we couldn't wait to tell everyone we were pregnant. We found creative ways to tell everyone via Christmas shirts with their new names on the back, i.e. "Aunt Ty, Uncle CJ, Big Cousin, etc. We also called close family and friends telling them we had Christmas gifts for them but it wouldn't be ready until July. The stunned faces, the squeals over the phone, the tears, and even the speaking in tongues were priceless! We told mostly everyone the day after Christmas but we told our family on our Family Christmas cruise or in person before we left for the cruise. Many people on our annual Christmas Card list were texting and phoning us wondering had we forgotten about them. We were simply waiting until we were 3 months pregnant and the New Year to make an official surprise announcement. We sent out an "Extra Blessed in 2016" card to announce in the New Year that Baby Washington would be arriving.

The joy we felt telling people of our promise was indescribable. I surprised my husband one day at work by sending him a video that I had begun compiling of our story. I didn't realize how much I had "written" of our story via pictures and journaling until this time. I wasn't sure when or how I would release it to the masses but I was determined to not allow my fear to hinder my transparency. We just didn't get pregnant by accident or happenstance. God opened my womb to a blessing. After 3 failed fertility treatments used to build our testimony, God did what only He could.

After sharing our testimony with our family, friends and church family we were ready to tell others.

We released our video story on social media a few minutes after the New Year. (Shout out to Rev. Herbert and Kelli Jenkins for telling us they already knew but were waiting on us to tell them! Lol) I guess everyone was on FaceBook that night because between the hours of 1am and 2pm on January 1, the video received over a thousand likes and I received numerous inbox messages from people also experiencing difficulties expanding their families. I didn't realize what was created to announce our pregnancy would be so beneficial to others.  I never thought in a million years that us sharing our story would bless so many when I was simply writing to heal from the years of disappointment and hurt.

Click Picture below to view video of our story.

Click Picture below for Video of  Our Testimony shared with Hopewell AME Church

Well the Secret is out!!  No it's not that we are pregnant because you knew that before reading this blog. The secret is -----God Did it!! While we were crying, praying, fasting and waiting, God was weaving an intricate pattern so delicately like only He could. As I think about this story I have a better understanding of how good He is. The Secret is Out that we never lost our faith! The Secret Is Out of how God can do exceedingly above all that we ask or think. The Secret is Out that for the last 3 years Jarrett and Deronda Washington have been facing some challenges but they made it through. The Secret is Out that I am not ashamed of my testimony! There is nothing I would trade for my journey.  THE SECRET IS OUT!!