Monday, February 8, 2016

There are no TESTIMONIES without TESTS

As I look back on our journey, my husband and I were always so happy with excitement every time we traveled to a specialist. This first appointment was no exception. We knew all would be well so we really didn’t talk about expectations of the visit, we always talked about what we knew would be the result. We smiled knowing one day we would be parents.

We arrived to our appointment and spoke with the doctor about our medical history as she reviewed my medical records and waited on the results of my husband’s semen analysis. All appeared to be well. My husband’s sperm count was off the charts (literally) so there was definitely no issue with him.  I was at this point simply ready to go home and relax and spend quality time with him. Certainly, one of those millions of sperm could find a way to my eggs and fertilize it! I was okay until she said; “Now it’s time to give you a quick exam Deronda.”  She did an exam and an ultrasound of my reproductive organs revealing that my follicles lined up on my ovaries differently from most females. She described them as a pearl bracelet on my ovaries. Here is where the “classy” lady in me finds humor. I laughed and told her, “Well geesh Doc.. even my ovaries are so classy they wear pearls too!” I laughed thinking it was the funniest thing ever. It was no laughing matter when she diagnosed me with Polycystic ovarian syndrome.  

Polycystic ovarian syndrome or PCOS, is a condition in which a woman’s levels of the sex hormones estrogen and progesterone are out of balance. This leads to the growth of ovarian cysts (benign masses on the ovaries). PCOS can cause problems with women’s menstrual cycle, fertility, cardiac function, and appearance. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, between 1 in 10 and 1 in 20 women of childbearing age suffers from PCOS. The condition currently affects up to 5 million women in the United States.----- Source: (

I had never heard the diagnosis and frankly I never wanted to hear it again if it meant slowing down the blessing God had for us. The specialist reassured us that though it wouldn’t stop us from conceiving, it would definitely make it difficult because the follicles would have difficulty maturing and we had only a 5% chance of conceiving on our own. She recommended a more aggressive approach of fertility treatments and laid out our options for either an IUI or IVF and the cost associated with each. I honestly think at this point I no longer could hear anything coming out of her mouth and I was looking for the nearest exit. I was calculating how many steps it would take me to get to the door to my left or if that wouldn’t work maybe I could just throw myself against the window to my right and she would understand how I was feeling at this very moment. Though my husband was nodding with understanding, I was nodding and pretending. She wrapped up her conversation, took paperwork, shook hands and left. When we got outside, we embraced and I honestly felt a little better because we had options. More importantly, I realize that I couldn't not have been able to get through today without this wonderful, devoted husband. We didn’t make a decision right away. We went home, prayed and heard from God and He gave us our answer. In my mind, I smiled and said God, “I trust You and I know you will not allow me to be tested beyond that which I have the ability to bear.”

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