The Other Side of the Blessing: Fired Up and Ready to Go!

After much prayer, my husband and I decided we would give the IUI a try. After more tests and blood tests and learning new acronyms like FSH, LH, HSG and AMH, I felt like I was a walking fertility dictionary. I had just mastered the use of text talk and now this!

For someone who had no prior knowledge of fertility issues this was no easy feat. In addition to learning of my blood levels I had to familiarize myself with fertility meds, dosage and the dreaded injections I would take 14 days leading up to my first Intrauterine Insemination (IUI).

After receiving the meds in the mail, I was able to start the first round of meds. I remember calling my husband to pray over the meds and to be there for my first injection. Originally, I was going to allow my husband to give me the injections but at the very last minute (literally) I decided that it would be best that I inflict pain upon myself because I didn’t want to dislike my husband just in case something went wrong or it hurt.

The first injections went well. I injected myself nightly with follitism (Gonal-F). After being monitored for almost 2 weeks and watching the meds increase the size of my follicles, we were ready to have our first IUI. Exciting hunh?

October 31, 2014 hubby and I were so excited of the possibility of becoming parents. It was a little over 2 years from the time that we had decided we were ready to be parents so the excitement was building. I remember realizing what holiday it was so I began affectionately calling our unborn child, “our BOO baby!” Corny I know but hey, I make a big deal out of everything and this was no exception.

The staff at the fertility center were so excited when we arrived. I got checked in and my arm was banned with my name and the date. Reality hit! Things are getting real!!! Hubby went and gave his sperm collection and his supply was Excellent! Now it was time for me to have the procedure. Ten minutes and they were done! We waited an additional 10-15 minutes in the room where we prayed and thanked God for the blessing to come. Now the dreaded two week wait (TWW.)

Both of us were so busy that we didn’t focus on hearing the results we would get on November 17. I will say nothing prepares for you a negative or positive answer.

November 17 came quicker than we thought. It was the morning we were to get our results of the IUI. In faith, I had an onesie made to give to my husband if the results were in our favor. I had my labs drawn so they could check my HCG levels and would have the results in a few hours. I honestly thought I could give a urine sample and know with in a few minutes. NOT! Blood samples were more conclusive and it took a few hours.

I remember getting the call from the doctor and her telling me that we weren’t pregnant. As I look back on it, I remember her saying, "It doesn't mean you won't ever be pregnant, just not right now." How was I going to tell my husband who was so excited and in prayer that it didn’t work? Why weren’t we pregnant? I remember calling my husband and he had this jovial sound in his voice that made it harder for me to tell him that we weren’t pregnant. I can’t remember how the conversation went I just remember me asking him to be strong for me because I felt like I was crumbling and falling apart. I told him weren’t pregnant and I was leaving work early for the day. I’m sure he responded with some sweet apologetic words but everything sounded like the teacher on Charlie Brown. This was definitely the worst feeling ever.