New Year.. New Things...Better Me

"Tomorrow I want you to go get pampered..."  Those eight words were music to my ears. Simple words that meant so much. Those words spoken by my husband meant he knew I needed time for myself and I in return knew I deserved it. "What is it that I'm going to do?"  My husband looked at me sarcastically and told me to get a manicure, pedicure and anything else I needed to make me feel good all at his expense. I felt like I hit the lottery!!! It was then that reality hit me that I would have 2-3 hours of alone time to focus on me. It was during this time I could relax, regroup and reclaim my time.

During the last year, I managed to sneak in some time to get my hair done or a quick eyebrow waxing on my lunch break but I can honestly say it wasn't like my every two week pampering that I was used to. I am a mom, a wife, a new staff member in higher education, business owner, etc etc.. I didn't have time for that. If it wasn't served to me via take out, drive through or simmering in a crock pot, I felt like I just didn't have time for it. Everything had to be timed precisely between my new work schedule, daughter pickups from my mom's or dodging rush hour traffic in Charleston.

As 2017 began turning the last pages of its chapter I had a great epiphany. I knew it all along but I vowed to listen to my heart, my husband, and my gut. I declared that I would carve out time each week simply to take care of me. It could be something big or something small but I was going to take care of me. My husband has done a great job complimenting me when I get dressed on a daily basis or mentioning to our daughter how pretty mommy looked but I honestly think he didn't really understand that waking up every morning at 5 am to make sure I was ahead of him and my daughter was taking a toll on me. I mean, literally in order for me to look like someone I was showering and applying makeup at 5 am before they woke up. Listen, despite Beyonce's song, I didn't "wake up like this."

I made the conscious decision that I would change it up in 2018. It was time to do something a little different for me. I booked Henry Smalls with the O'Salon Charleston to give me a new look. After close to 10 years of having natural hair I decided it was time to relax my hair and do a major cut again. I made an appointment with Kira Middleton, Amplified by Kay and I was ready to walk in 2018 with new goals and a better me. During my appointment, I remembered feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude that I kept thanking them for making me feel pretty. When I arrived home my husband and daughter LOVED my new look. My daughter kept saying "Momma Hair?" I felt so good!!!!!

So in 2018, I'm encouraging all moms, wives, friends to reclaim their time and take time to pamper themselves. Take time to eat that Symphony chocolate bar or to enjoy a glass of wine uninterrupted. Pamper yourself with a bubble bath, spa day or your favorite venti-sized Starbucks drink. You deserve it!!!

"She's Busy Being a Great Mom"

"She's too busy being a great mom..."  These seven words cut so deep when I read them in a Facebook comment in regards to me scaling back on my business in order to focus on what took priority in my life after God... MY FAMILY! 

As a first time mom who had difficulty expanding our family, I wanted to make sure I devoted as much needed time with my family as well as to myself.  I mean it does make logical sense doesn't it? In the hierarchy and order of my life it is always God, Family and then business and other things.

After allowing these words to pierce my feelings, I used them to allow myself to heal and to be an even better mom, wife, entrepreneur and Business Professor. During this time I was able to support my husband, regroup, launch my daughter's hair bow business, restructure my tshirt division of Legacy Graphics and Designs, LLC. (www.legacygraphictees.com) and become a better a me.

Becoming a mom requires lots of organization, a whole lot restructuring, several mess ups and a whole lot of balance. This road is not for the faint at heart but it's definitely the most rewarding.

Things I learned on the "She's Busy Being a Great Mom" Road

1) You don't owe anyone any explanations on why you are doing what you are doing.

2) It's okay to prioritize and realize what's important.

3) If they aren't offering to help, work for you or take things off of your To Do List, they are really insignificant. (Sounds harsh but true.)

4. Enjoy the time with your baby and family.

5. When the time is right engage your baby and family in things such as family business, cooking, etc.

6. Keep your baby on a good Schedule!!!! (IT WORKS!!!)

7) Laugh!



I pray this blog allows you to look at life a little differently.


Song: She's a Bad Mamma Jamma  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QIw1BQIvT4

Another Answered Prayer... #FaithToFertility

No one will ever know the joy that my husband and I feel when someone who we prayed for calls us to tell us they are PREGNANT! Honestly it feels like 11/11/15 all over again. It was on 11/11/15 that I found out we were with child. The joy we feel when a couple has endured what we went through.... you know the waiting game, the tests, the failed fertility treatments, seeing God answered the prayers of others and trying to be patient as we wait on Him to answer us.

I can't tell you exactly what we say to God concerning the people we pray for because that's an intimate conversation we have with Him based on our conversations with the couples, but what I can tell you is that our prayers are beyond specific and we pray for everything imaginable concerning the conception, the pregnancy and delivery of a healthy baby who is created to work in the kingdom of God.

Over the last few years it has been our honor to pray for couples who have been having difficulty expanding their families. In fact we were praying for couples while we were facing our own challenges. We are often reminded that if you pray for others to receive blessings God will turn around and bless you because of your selflessness. We also remember the times that it were too difficult to pray or when we felt like God wasn't hearing our faintest cry nor was he going to answer by and by. During those times we knew someone else had to have been praying for us.

So today I rejoice in the answered prayers of over 20 couples we have prayed for that have conceived and delivered or conceived and waiting on their blessed babies. One day we will all gather together with our blessings and proclaim that it was nobody but God.

I speak your name! I speak your names in prayer!!



Song: The Struggle is Over   Click Here

And On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

"And On Wednesdays We Wear Pink" is a famous line from the movie Mean Girls when they discuss what fashions they as a group wear during the week. Many people compliment or wait to see the fashion that Miss Braylen and I wear on Sundays to our worship experience or what outfit of the day (OOTD) she wears during the week. Some have even asked do I go out intentionally shopping to ensure that we have matching outfits. Braylen and I have both been blessed with a wardrobe that had similar clothing or colors where for the last 8 months we were able to coordinate our outfits to some degree on Sundays.

WHY????

No one will ever know what it takes for moms, especially new moms, to get to a place called Here every day. When I was overcoming Postpartum Depression my way of ensuring I "Got Up" and faced the world everyday was dressing Braylen and making her my human doll baby. However, I forgot about me. On Sundays I decided that we would dress alike and literally enter His courts with a HAPPY yet fashionable praise. (LOL) I would plan our outfits and take the time to look in my wardrobe to see if I had something similar. Surprisingly, we've gone through 32 Sundays dressing alike. I even started looking through Jarrett's ties to ensure he was coordinated as well. This entire process involved me ensuring our clothes were laid out and packed on Thursday nights so that we had no excuses for being late on our hour and 1/2 commute to Hemingway. This also ensured that I enjoyed doing something for me. Even when I was on maternity leave I felt like I had something to do besides change diapers, nurse or pump every 2 hours. I began feeling better about myself and coming out of this PPD.

Though I've kicked PPD's butt, this habit has literally become a part of my weekly routine that I enjoy and probably will continue until our wardrobes run out of matching outfits. I started a routine where I also lay out our clothes for the week, make baby food for the week and ensure I'm okay during the week.

So why this blog? There are many women trying to fight PPD and are looking for a way to get to their HAPPY place. No matter what anyone says or the unsolicited advice people give, I want to encourage moms to do what it takes to stay at a happy place. Whether that means dressing like your little one or if that means dinner for one and enjoying your favorite expensive chocolate and a glass of wine in your favorite glass that you've been holding on to for that perfect moment. You don't owe anyone any explanations for why you do what you do! When fighting PPD it's perfectly normally to fall but you have to remember you won't always stay there. So find your way of "Getting Up" and find your way through your own routine that works for you.

Over the last few months I've encountered moms who were on this journey with me that have battled and beat PPD. Those of us who were on this journey from faith to fertility often didn't understand why we felt this way but this is another hurdle we overcame!!

If you are reading this blog and know a first time mom please hug them, tell them they are doing an amazing job and offer to just be there for what they need you to do. Don't tell them what they should be doing but just be there for them.

LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE!

"It's taken you awhile to get to this place called HERE so don't let anyone take you THERE!"-- Deronda C. Washington


Song: So Happy Being Me